Urbanoscope

"I turn the radio on, another annoying deejay playing the same old songs irritates me. I flip through my television, two hundred and thirty something channels and I still think there is nothing to watch. Expensive cars that we can't afford and bigger egoes to go with them overflow the city. Culture is now, to me, nothing more than a bad coreographed ballet and exagerated abstract art hanging down from a loft's ceiling. The green is replaced by neon lights and the blue sky is covered with brick clouds. There is a spa that claims to bring your stressed soul to your natural self... in a basement downtown?

My clock tics faster than what it used to. I feel it's running away from my screaming nerves. Time goes by and I'm still standing here waiting for the rain to soak my anger away. But it's still dry in here. It's so arid that my chest has cracked open and my heart spilled out. Now somebody please come and rescue me while it's still pumping, and later... later, I will decide if I want to live like this or not..."

Memories

To Sandra and Jitanshi... 5thMDSS, whoah!
A few great memories...
Warm Kudos bars...
Officer Club Lunches...
Latin Night...
Gym time...
Blind Duck...
"Go Jita WOOOO!!!"

New Ride

Here it is... my new vehicle. My first SUV. My first vechicle that is other color than white. I flirted with the idea of a new car in the last two years, but I prolonged the agony of being attacked by a car salesman, plus I was waiting for the right financial moment, which I am still not positive if it is now. Anyhow, with the great assistance of my friends Marv and Christopher, I decided to get the Ford Explorer. Nothing fancy, not the BMW X3 or X5 that I wanted originally, but this is a very nice truck. I am now at the same height of the rest of the neighborhood, I blend in with them. All what I am missing is a spouse and a herd of children.


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Secrets

Every day at work, I deal with people that suffer from claustrophobia. I really didn't understand the whole concept at first, but then I started thinking about my own fears. Some of them have a story standing behind them, and some of them have no rational basis whatsoever. What are your fears? Here are a few of mine. (in no specific order)

1. Snakes of any kind or size
2. Loneliness
3. Cancer of any form
4. Becoming blind
5. Rollercoasters
6. Teethless people smiling at me

FE PERDIDA

Anoche soñé despierto. Como si fuese un pobre pensador en un trance eterno cerré los ojos y me dejé llevar por mis propios deseos. Me invadió la nostalgia al inundarme de recuerdos olvidados hasta entonces. Cada respiro y cada latido fueron completamente sincronizados al compás de mi llorar. Cómo es que nunca había sentido esa sensación a dulce amargo... Extraños son esos días de lluvia. Ahora una sequía vive dentro de mi gritando y golpeando cada fragmento de fé que una vez hubo en mi.

A week's update

My deepest apologies for not posting anything in here for a while. In the last few days not a whole lot of different has occurred. I've been busy working all my jobs, attempting to study, trying to keep Chachi and Sherman out of trouble, trying to keep myself out of trouble, dealing with my insomniac nights watching spelling bee championships on ESPN2, making the sketch in my head of how to strategically start spring cleaning my house, patiently waiting for my W2s, doing laundry three times a week, taking to life that January work out fever, thinking about why shit happens to good people (I've had 4 patients in the last 10 days diagnosed with some form of malignant cancer), developing an interest on television- The Book of Daniel has caught my attention, deciding on my next vehicle purchase, and listening to my repurchased XM satellite radio boombox.

When does one move on?

I heard it on Saturday. I tried to keep my face with the same muscular mold that I had at the moment. I didn't want to alter that facial expression to match the one that was inside of me wanting to weep. Although I wanted to loosen up my lacrimals, I took a deep breath in and clawed myself to avoid any kind of negative impression. And even though I wanted to scream and punch the wall ,I just tilted my head and made a shitty attempt to smile. 5 minutes it's all it took for me to find out that I haven't moved on. That I am in the same emotional state as of the day I decided to stop hurting. But I must have gotten stuck in the process. I haven't tilted far from that day.
Things haven't resumed to what they should've been by now. Now? Now I just spell my next move, not too far from where I started, so no one can get injured. Now? Now I might be two seconds away from recording a country album.