Holiday Bliss

OK, with the holidays in the air(gag), and all that white crap mixed with sand looking like a giant shit slush out there, I have decided share my own holiday spirit for a little bit. Here are the things that piss me off about the Christmas, Hannukah,Ramadan, and Kwanzaa seasons. Whatever you wanna call it. I personally prefer "that nasty fake cold season", but it's just a matter of opinions. Here's the list.

1. "Christmas" sweaters. If you are old enough to dress yourself, you should not be wearing one of them. Biggest holiday fashion faux pas. I don't care how cute the snowman in your sweater with blinking lights is. Look at yourself in the mirror, if you sport Santa Claus in your chest and you still think you look adorable, think again. Once again, you are old enough to know that Santa does NOT exist and he does not endorse you wearing his distorted image.

2. Expecting presents. Last time I checked it was Jesus' birthday. Mine is in August, then it will be my turn to receive presents.If yours is in November, then you should have received your presents already. If it is in January, then wait a couple of weeks and you will get your turn. Unless your birthday is Dec 25., then you have all the right to expect them. That just plain confuses me, who's birthday is it? yours or baby Jesus'? Who can afford to buy presents to all their family and friends? I think that is just rude. Not very holidayish when you are all broke after buying presents to people that you really don't like.

3. Hate crimes against fruitcakes. People talk trash about those baked goods but they still keep making them. Confuse me?

4. Not color coordinated Christmas trees. First of all, I think it is sad to kill a tree that is purifying air, doing its own thing in nature to decorate it in an unfashionable manner. But whatever, if you decided to kill a live one and then let it die sllowly inside your home at least you should consider decorating it decently. How many tress look like the rainbow fairy puked all over them?

5. Humming people. I don't understand why coworkers and random people in general decide to hum more often during this time of the year. Humming just signifies that you can't sing. And it is also an open invitation for me to kick your ass if you dont shut the hell up. (I get bonus points if you are humming Silent Night, Jingle Bells, Santa Claus is coming to town or Rudolph the Red nosed Reindeer)

6. Snow. Need I say more?

7. Happy faces where they don't belong. They say... "smile, it's the holiday season". I agree, go ahead and smile, be nice to me, let's be nice to each other... but not JUST this time of the year... What happens during the rest of the year? Do you say in July "Don't smile, it's not December yet"?

8. People calling me Scrooge. Just because I am not too fond of this time of the year because it's commercialism, doesn't mean that I am that character. Plus, unlike him, I do have some lights in my porch.

I hope you enjoyed my little holiday spirit, the only one that I have.