My weak will

I've been learning to live without your company for the last few months now, but I miss you sometimes. The more I know, the less I comprehend. And I thought I knew a lot, but I am having to learn everything again. Friends tell me that everything is going to be alright, that you are not worth my pain and tears. And maybe they are right. But sometimes I just wish they would say that it must be hard to be where I am at. I deal fine with many things, but with this one right now, I am so confused. My will gets weak. I still pick up the phone and try to reach across, even though you don't love me anymore. These times of my life are so uncertain. I remember the tenderness and I can't fill these empty arms. I thought I had every single thing figured out, but I didn't. My heart is so shattered, and time- they say, will heal. But time is asking for patience, and I lack such thing. All these struggles bring us memories, life goes on. And forgive me for everything, but I am just trying to get to that thing that they call closure.